“Bless the Lord oh my soul, oh my soul, worship his holy name. Sing like never before oh my soul I’ll worship His holy name.”
My heart cannot even process the feelings I have right now. But I think this song says a lot about how awesome our God is. I am not coming home with any good news; just the plain fact that I will be home makes me so excited.
I have been hospitalized for almost two weeks, and in these two weeks I have had so many ups and downs and I feel as if God has been holding me firmly to Himself keeping so close I can feel His heartbeat.
Two days ago I was told that my cancer has spread to my brain, here is an actual picture. In the midst of such devastating, scary, surprising news I felt the Lord’s presence wrap around me and whisper, “Do not fear; I am bigger than this.”
Yesterday, I was told that the cancer has spread to one of my ribs. I listened to the news but my focus was on Jesus and how big his love is and how powerful he is. Jesus wins.
I got a thoracentesis procedure done. If you are the queasy type of person you may want to skip this description. In this procedure they take a 12-inch needle and make an incision on your back to access the fluid that collects between your lungs and the outer wall. They then use what looks like a spigot to pump out the fluid into a large bag. They take about 1.5 liters of fluid. It does not hurt it just feels uncomfortable and strange. Sarah documented the whole thing so enjoy.
They did this procedure to test the fluid for cancer cells and confirm that the type is still the same. After the procedure they took an x-ray that showed my left lung that was very compressed starting to fill itself back up. This process can take anywhere from 4 hours to 4 weeks. My lung is taking longer to fill back up.
We seem to have my pain under control using quite a cocktail of drugs. I will be on oxygen during evenings. I will be following up with my oncologist and my pain management specialist this week.
The entire medical staff at UCSF have been so amazing and they were all so professional but fun at the same time. I got into some really great conversations just getting to know the staff.
Coming back to a new home and a house full of friends and family was so heart warming. A true Shabbat and time of rest, it was so refreshing and such a blessing.
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