Everything I eat is organic! Oh look an egg, I bet a happy free range chicken laid it. The Trank Family Farm has always been a nice getaway, especially so soon after round 2 of chemotherapy. Last night as all my bones were in pain trying to produce much needed WBC, I decided to do my favorite going-home past time: purging old stuff into the trash. I have gone through several spools of mixed CDs and have taken much pleasure in chucking then into the garbage.
Currently, I am on a lot of meds so please excuse my writing as it is easily influenced right now. Like I was saying, I have a lot of things, not necessarily things that have any value- just a bunch of stuff. I know several of you can relate. The more stuff I encounter the more the question of what I will leave behind comes up for me. If I died in the next year and they had an estate sale I wonder what people will think when they see half a closet filled with medieval weaponry. Well that is better than a barn full of live rattlesnakes, ask my dad about that one.
Here is the thing, I purge because I don’t want to leave behind any of this stuff. Like the baggage from Pilgrim’s Progress, I would love nothing more than to shed it all into a giant pit and be done with it. Christmas always takes on the American dream of stuff-mongering and when you pick up any store catalog you can just feel it welling up inside. I think, ‘Yeah that could be useful; I’ll keep it in my closet and, you know, use. . . maybe. I guess with these holidays there is an underlying hope that says this year could be the greatest, or maybe these things will make you happy for now. I get it, today when I looked at a catalog even from Best Buy I got depressed because the one thing I want is not for sale. Not having cancer would be the best Christmas ever, ironically I have had 27 of those Christmases. Which brings me to my point.
We are like tiny ants trying to make our little claims on life, collecting and gathering material so we can build something for ourselves. Little do we know a great flood is coming that will wash away all that we have deemed ours, and the truth is we need to see the much bigger picture to find happiness. That happiness is found in being with God and doing his will and there is nothing that can destroy it. So store up treasures in heaven (not the stuff you can buy in a Best Buy catalog) and allow this Christmas to be the greatest Christmas- of seeking the will of God.
Cancer is killing my body, but God has already saved me and can save us all.