Human sitting silhouette

Sometimes you just gotta write it out.  Otherwise you just keep repeating things over and over again in your mind.

I started Chemotherapy on Thursday and it took five hours to complete the first day of drip.  They started me off on a liter of saline to help me hydrate.  Ironically I had already consumed 66 oz of water so I mostly just felt full.  They then gave me a drip of anti nausea drugs that had some interesting side effects.  Let just say the drugs cause backaches and don’t sit well in my system.

First they started me on Etopside which I could smell while it was pumping in.  An hour and a half after that they switched to Cisplatin, which gave me motion sickness and I had to just shut my eyes for a while and wait for the world to stop spinning.  After the Chemo they gave me another liter of saline and injected a drug to help flush my system and from then on it was nonstop to the bathroom for me.

After the first day my body just felt weak like I had just gone five hours in a cement mixer.  The next morning the room was spinning and it took me two hours for the drugs to kick in and normalize everything.  I went into work and then went back to get my second chemo that afternoon.  Not as bad, it only took an hour.

Aaron went with me on the third day, which was a Saturday.  Now it is time to wait it out.  I can feel it working in my body.  My breathing has slightly improved and my left lung has ejected most of the fluid out of it.

Waiting is hard, I mostly just feel sick, tired, and weak.  This is what cancer is like.  It is terrible and disgusting.

Sometimes it is hard to see beyond the pain and misery of sickness, but it is so very important that we do otherwise to get stuck in such a miserable state would be devastating.

I think about my savior mostly and reflect on the good news that the God of all creation bent down to save me.  I think about my family who has stood with me and reminded me that I can fight.  I think about my wife who is suffering with me in my darkest hour and though our marriage is only in its second year, we are faced with such strong obstacles that our vows to each other hold firm.  I think of my friends who remind me of the many good times we have shared and that there will be many more ahead.

Today is a dark day, but I will rage against the dying of the light.

Be Blessed

Sean Trank

P.S.

I made this video for fun on day two.  If you want to make a response video that would be so amazing!  Just post it in the comments.

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About Sean Trank

My name is Sean Trank. I aspire to help those who want to succeed. I am a promoter of many things and I love making good ideas known. I also have a unique sense of humor that has been honed and shaped from having a Jewish Christian background...or maybe it is because my childhood house had lead-based paint. Ok so please explore this website .

13 responses »

  1. Joann Turner says:

    Sean! You are so brave and I know that God is going to use this illness for good. I will continue to pray for you. I have never met you of course, but I have met Aaron at our church last year. But we WILL meet, however it may be that its in heaven. Keep the faith, keep fighting, and I’ll continue praying! In Christ, Joann Turner

    Sent from my iPad

    >

  2. Tammy Rothspan says:

    Dearest Sean, I can’t imagine the difficulty in experiencing the chemotherapy, but you pointed out as well the love of your friends, family and most of all your beautiful wife; in the midst of the “darkness”, not only do you have the great “light” of those who love you, but most of all the “Love of Yeshua”, who will never leave you or forsake you, and will be with you until the end of the age. This, in itself, it a great blessing for you, as not everyone has this blessing. As Joann said, GOD will use this illness for good.

    You’re in my prayers, and keep looking upward; there is nothing greater that life has to offer but HIM…

    Tammy Rothspan

  3. trysch says:

    Your posts, so honest and gritty, are an inspiration. I feel like I am next to Sarah holding your hand. Stay strong, brother in Christ. Many are holding you up before the throne every day. (((hugs))) to you and your wife.

  4. Sarah Rose says:

    All of our kids are praying for the Scripture Man! Be well!

  5. Claire Massey says:

    Hey Sean! It’s been a long time since we sang in the PLNU Concert Choir together. I just wanted to let you know that I’m following you through this journey and you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am teaching high school choir now and I told one of my classes about some good times that I remember from choir with you and Eric. My heart goes out to you and Sarah and I will continue to keep you in my prayers. Hang in there!

  6. Lizette Sweiven says:

    Hang in there Sean. My family is praying for your healing and that God continues to use you in mighty ways.

  7. buttons are not toys sean 🙂 how you manage to make me laugh….while literally sitting through chemo…well, its mark of something amazing. it really made me miss the old days and the videos…oh the videos….good times. sharing your story as you are will truly bless many…i hope you know that.

  8. Sean, Our Lord, in His great kindness, has put many stretcher-bearers in your life to carry you when you feel too weak to walk. It is a terrible journey, but God is faithful. As I told my daughter right after she was diagnosed with brain cancer, you will not know this side of heaven, all the lives you will touch through this. I want to invite you to visit Elaine’s Caringbridge page for a good dose of honest struggle and the face of courage. http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/elainebrockhage.

  9. Rich says:

    Sean, first of all what’s up with all the commenters being women at least it looks that way? Don’t you find that interesting? So I’ll be the first non-woman to post here. I think it’s interesting how even though what you’re going through is really miserable, you are always smiling in your videos. Got to keep up a sense of humor. My other thought for today is what if the chemo / radiation turns you into a superhero, some kind of X-Man mutant? Everyone knows that when you are exposed to radiation you develop a mutation like laser eyes or wings. Bet you can’t wait to see yours.

  10. Chris says:

    So thankful for you son. Miss you and Looking forward to being with you soon.

    Sent from my iPod

  11. Linda Storm says:

    So very, very sorry to read about these horrible side effects! I will keep praying. May you sense Christ right there with you taking the chemo too!

  12. Erika Gueli says:

    My husband does his own haircuts too…and since he is losing his hair the normal way (not due to chemo thankfully) it is getting shorter and shorter. Continuing to pray for you here in Michigan!

  13. TK says:

    I want you to know that I have posted this everywhere in hopes that there will be many praying for you constantly and subscribing to your videos on youtube.

    You are unique Sean and and a frontrunner in the race in this Christian war. God is smiling down upon you for what you are doing and He loves you very much.

    Stay on track, keep your faith strong, don’t ever let go. Pray with your wife continuously, “where two or more come to pray, there I am in the midst”. God loves it when couples pray together and keep Him first in their marriage. If you have Him first in everything you do, Sean, you will please Him and He will reward you and your wife.

    I will be praying for you and keep reminding many to do the same.

    Be blessed….TK Hash

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