Sometimes you just gotta write it out. Otherwise you just keep repeating things over and over again in your mind.
I started Chemotherapy on Thursday and it took five hours to complete the first day of drip. They started me off on a liter of saline to help me hydrate. Ironically I had already consumed 66 oz of water so I mostly just felt full. They then gave me a drip of anti nausea drugs that had some interesting side effects. Let just say the drugs cause backaches and don’t sit well in my system.
First they started me on Etopside which I could smell while it was pumping in. An hour and a half after that they switched to Cisplatin, which gave me motion sickness and I had to just shut my eyes for a while and wait for the world to stop spinning. After the Chemo they gave me another liter of saline and injected a drug to help flush my system and from then on it was nonstop to the bathroom for me.
After the first day my body just felt weak like I had just gone five hours in a cement mixer. The next morning the room was spinning and it took me two hours for the drugs to kick in and normalize everything. I went into work and then went back to get my second chemo that afternoon. Not as bad, it only took an hour.
Aaron went with me on the third day, which was a Saturday. Now it is time to wait it out. I can feel it working in my body. My breathing has slightly improved and my left lung has ejected most of the fluid out of it.
Waiting is hard, I mostly just feel sick, tired, and weak. This is what cancer is like. It is terrible and disgusting.
Sometimes it is hard to see beyond the pain and misery of sickness, but it is so very important that we do otherwise to get stuck in such a miserable state would be devastating.
I think about my savior mostly and reflect on the good news that the God of all creation bent down to save me. I think about my family who has stood with me and reminded me that I can fight. I think about my wife who is suffering with me in my darkest hour and though our marriage is only in its second year, we are faced with such strong obstacles that our vows to each other hold firm. I think of my friends who remind me of the many good times we have shared and that there will be many more ahead.
Today is a dark day, but I will rage against the dying of the light.
I made this video for fun on day two. If you want to make a response video that would be so amazing! Just post it in the comments.