no needles

I know this is a ridiculous request as I will be facing many more needles probably for the rest of my life but today was just ridiculous.  So needles and I, not close pals.  My earliest memory of a needle was getting a tetanus shot in the leg while being held down by a doctor, the nurse, and my mom.  I screamed and that moment has been scorched into my memory ever since.

Today, I needed to get more blood work done and please note that only three days ago they took four vials of blood already.  OK no big deal; let’s get this mess over with.  The nice nurse lady locates a vain but you know kinda misses it.  It let her know it OK just try again, but she thinks she can still get to the vain if she just moves the needle around enough.

As I go into my happy place to escape the horror, I feel another sharp pain near the same spot and I open my eyes to see she had taken the needle out and tried again on a nearby vain.  This one seems alright but something is wrong with the blood flow and she only manages to fill half a vial.  I close my eyes and again start going to my happy place when her voice gets dim and my head just feels warm.

Next thing I know I am face to face with a big black guy who is moving his mouth but I can’t hear any words.  He is holding me up with both hands on my chest and I feel something cold on my neck.  My first thought is, “oh great I passed out, that’s embarrassing.”  As my senses came back to life a nurse with a heavy Russian accent tells me to eat some chocolate and now on auto pilot I said “ok” and ate some chocolate.

Apparently as the first nurse was digging around my arm again my mind and body decided to take a vacation and I passed out.  Once I was fully awake again the nurse decides to switch arms so she goes for the new vain and again she can’t get any blood flow.   DOH!  At this point I’m thinking whatever, just kill me now.  She finally goes for a vain in my hand and successfully fills the other three vials.  The whole thing left me very dazed and confused.

Sean Trank blood drawn

All of this got me thinking, sometimes we go to do something simple like get blood drawn or go get checked out for pneumonia and what we thought would be simple turns out to be much more complicate then we had imagined.  Finding out I have stage IIIB lung cancer is definitely not what I expected my life to ever be.

Honestly, I had made many plans for my life and set up a lot of expectation based around those plans.  Lung cancer was definitely not one of my goals in life.  My plan was to continue in ministry, start a family with Sarah, and pay off student loans, maybe even someday own a house or something.  Now those things seem so distant.

Truth is my body is broken and I feel it and that is a difficult reality to face.  I am surrounded by uncertainty and decisions that will forever affect my future and it is hard to confidently make a choice and know for sure that it was the right choice.

My hope is in Jesus.  The key to all of this suffering and uncertainty is that I have a savior who has already won.  He suffered far worse than needles, chemo, radiation, chronic coughing, and He suffered so that I could have a right relationship with God.  This is amazing and it is this fact that pulls me right out of my own storm and places me at the feet of Jesus in worship of an all-powerful God who died so that I might live and have life everlasting.

I start chemo therapy next week and I am not afraid.  No amount of suffering will tear me away from the love of God.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.  –King David (Psalm 23:4)

When the storm comes, when suffering is near, when life feels impossible, draw near to Y’shua for His name means SALVATION

 

Be Blessed

Sean Trank

 

Please comment more verses or other encouraging words!

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About Sean Trank

My name is Sean Trank. I aspire to help those who want to succeed. I am a promoter of many things and I love making good ideas known. I also have a unique sense of humor that has been honed and shaped from having a Jewish Christian background...or maybe it is because my childhood house had lead-based paint. Ok so please explore this website .

18 responses »

  1. Laureen says:

    Im sorry about all the needles. And the passing out, sorry about that too. Sorry about all of it. I passed out at the Dr. a few weeks back. Similar thing…Dr. couldn’t get any blood flow…so I decided to check out for a few mins….happens. Take good care! See you this week with some delicious food for you and Sarah! 🙂

  2. Eric Fehr says:

    It takes a real man to admit when he passes out from giving blood, God bless you!

  3. Mom M says:

    You are an inspiration to us all. What a blessing you are to our daughter!!!

  4. Antoinette Jones says:

    When my veins started to disappear it was suggested that I drink Fiji water. It worked but that water costs more than regular water. I switched to Dasani which also has minerals, and I believe that is what helped plump up the veins. Keep hydrated to keep those veins plump. Coffee & tea are diuretics. Stay away from them.

  5. Rob says:

    Sean, we never met, but I do know Aaron. We have been praying for you and will continue to pray. My advise- next time volunteer Aaron to get the blood draws. Any good brother would do it.

  6. rich says:

    Hang in there. I have hemophilia and this is a subject I am well aware of. When I am having my blood drawn, I simply direct the drawer to vain I want them to use. Usually they are the bulging ones.

  7. Praying for you! It’s rough when veins are difficult… and I hate when they move the needle around inside! I had some difficult veins when they were trying to put an IV in for platlet transfusion during my labor (mid way abouts) I was dreading those needles more than the contractions! Here is a hint if you get similar troubles… anasthesioligists have the special needles and just plain do it better! Seriously! You can’t get em for normal bloodwork or even all the time… but if your veins trouble you they are the way to go whenever possible! I don’t know why… just that it’s true! At least it’s been for me. Oh and my record for vials all at once is 15…. but if you have trouble with fainting have them let you lay down… they usualy have a room in the back of the lab for just such purposes.

  8. Marcy Meeuwes says:

    Dear Sean, you are very funny in a very difficult place. I know our Great GOD is smiling down on His son and is pleased. GOD has a future for you, His heart and plans for you and your family are for you. Again I read all the comments and you are getting some great encouragement like WATER-WATER-and more WATER!!! Truth about me, I hate needles too but not as brave as you are. Just for today, one minute at a time. Again, So proud of you and believing and praying Psalm 118:17 over you and for you that reminds us “I shall not die, but live and declare the works of the LORD” That is you dear Sean.
    Blessings and love in Y’shua to you and yours-Marcy in Michigan

  9. David Brickner says:

    Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

  10. Linda Storm says:

    Oh, Sean, I could feel pain for you as I read this!! Getting blood drawn makes me a bit quizzy too! My God sustain you, open up those veins (yes, drink LOTS of water!) and help you through this terrible ordeal in victory and peace! He is bigger than anything you have to face. Remember Rom. 8: 28-39. Also Isa. 40: 28-31, Phil. 4:12-13, 19. I am praying for healing..

  11. Caleb Roose says:

    Your faith in the midst of your trials is inspiring. God is using you.

  12. Margot Lee says:

    God bless you, Sean. I don’t know why nurses think it’s ok to wiggle needles around after poking into you and missing… blood coagulates pretty quickly and usually when they just make it bruise more and make it impossible to get blood out of the spot. Oy vey. Anyway, I am so moved by your faith and am praying for you everyday. You’re an inspiration. God is using you in such tremendous ways.

  13. You don’t know me, but i just have to say your honesty and faith are refreshing! God bless you!

  14. Mary Bennett says:

    Sean, you have such a way with words. I enjoy(even at this yucky situation)reading your blog and walking thru this with you. You are blessed in so many ways with so much love from so many people. I saw Hans’s facebook about the chair surfing and cracked up. You and your family are in my prayers. Hugs

  15. Joann Turner says:

    Psalms 23:4

    Sent from my iPad

    >

  16. Robyn Wilk says:

    Isaiah 26:3 is one of my favorite verses, and I like it in the KJV: Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

  17. Rich Robinson says:

    Hey Sean, just saw this post. First off I’m encouraged and inspired by your attitude. I don’t know how I’d reach in your shoes. As for trying to find the right vein – my dad has problems when they try to find a workable vein but there is an ultrasound machine that can locate the best ones. It pays to ask if they have that, if they continue to have problems getting the vein.

  18. Paul Reeves says:

    Hey Sean. Thank you for sharing. I have been thinking and praying for you and one thing that has come up is that “this will be your testimony.” the way you navigate through these trials and trust in Jesus will be your story. and we all will tell of how Great He is through all of it!”

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