I am waiting for a second opinion and I am also scheduled for this Tuesday for another bronchoscopy, not a pleasant procedure but not the worst either. This week all of the UCSF cancer doctors are in Australia at a big conference and when they get back the tumor board will be discussing my case.
Yesterday, was the first time I cried and just to let you know I am always slightly embarrassed when it happens, which is very rare by the way. I was listening to a new music group that my friend Josh introduced me to called Beautiful Eulogy and I was at home heating up some vegetable soup when a song called “Blessed Are The Merciful” came on and just full on crushed me with the reality of God’s mercy and grace. Knowing that we have a savior who has already suffered and died for our sins, for my cancer, and who knows my pain better than I can ever express. I felt the love of God poured out and I cried for thirty minutes just knowing the truth of it all.
Earlier that day I received a long text from a friend who challenged me to see my spiritual gifts being used greatly in and through this turmoil. Many others have sent gifts and prayers and each one reminds me of God’s mercy.
Honestly, I feel like my Facebook profile picture is exactly how I feel, confused and concerned. The one thing I have not felt is alone. So many of you have come along side me and let me know that they are praying and even fasting for me. When people come together and become the hands and feet of Jesus it never ceases to touch so many and bring healing. I am so excited about the miracles God will do through this situation and I can’t wait to see God move each of us closer to Himself.
How have you seen God move? What scriptures have you held tightly to while suffering? Have you allowed God to work through your weakness?