Elections are an interesting time of year…San Francisco gets very edgy every election year as the city that claims to be environmentally sensitive and as the countries leading pushers of the green initiative and sustainability. Why is it that every time an election comes around our streets, BART, and any other place with people gets flooded by so much election campaign trash that no one seems to want to pick up? How much material was wasted in an attempt to get political power? I should not have to point out the irony in all of this mess.
In the near future… all campaigns will be electronic and printed material will be a travesty of the past. Did you know you can be a part of this? It is simple, all you have to do is say that you will not vote for anyone who uses print material. (Hopefully you wont end up not voting for anyone 😉 But you get what I’m saying. People this is ridiculous!
So lets think about what it takes to create a successful campaign: First you need to make a bunch of promises to do things that even if you won the election you cannot actually fulfill. For example, citizenship for illegals or more sunny days, you know stuff the majority likes. Second, print huge posters with your name on it and a slogan. Example: Sean Trank “OK Why NOT” Of coarse we have learned from our latest prez to make you posters obscure so the hipsters will vote for it. If you look white you might want to get a dark tan before you make posters or just fix it in Photoshop. OK, so now you have your signs up and now it is time to get the same sign made in every possible dimension. Now hire some kids to pass out your fliers door-to-door the only risk is that they might be putting 50 in each mail bock so that they will get paid more. (Yes, this happened in my mail box several times; I said to myself, “wow Ed Lee must be the right choice, he gave me 50 of the same flyer…what a waste!”) You now have plenty of paper to pass out and you have people to do it for you, but now it is time to do the same exact thing except this time attack your opponent with exaggerated text and unverified claims. Flinging mud is so pathetic, unless of course you uncover that your opponent is a fascist communist because you saw him drinking coffee at Ritual Roast… (joke) But still you never know.
Alright, you just spent 2-5 million dollars littering the streets with your material and you did not win. Perhaps this technique is no longer the way to win, today over 259,561,000 people use the internet everyday. Good news, they are all in one place which offers affordable advertising. It is this magical website called Facebook, have you heard of it? Well starting a online campaign is easier than clubbing baby seals which is not so equivalent to littering the streets but you get the point… Ok, so lets start a ad campaign. You can spend the same amount of money and reach 10,000 fold the amount of people and not waste a single sheet of paper.
Well this brings me to the end of my foresight of election campaigns which I hope will happen soon. Until then if you receive literature from a underage kid who is getting paid per each 100 he passes out make sure to recycle them in a blue bin and not to vote for whoever was on the paper.
Stand Firm Green People! and save a baby seals life today…